bribery will get you everywhere

I spent this last weekend in Jerusalem, which was amazing as always, but was book-ended by some of my more interesting travel experiences. Rather than flying, A1 and I opted to go to Israel the cheap way, namely overnight bus(es). Our journey was supposed to go like this: bus 1 from Cairo to Taba, cross border on foot into Eilat, taxi to bus station, bus 2 from Eilat to Jerusalem.

Despite an unfortunate (but predictable) lack of timetables or bus schedules online, I heard from several people that there was a 10:15 pm bus leaving Cairo for Taba. We were early enough (a rarity), but when we got to the bus station we found that it was sold out. Now growing up, many of us were taught that "no means no." But that's not really true in Egypt, where no means something like "bribe me." We asked the ticket seller how much tickets cost and he said 80 LE, so we said we would give him 100 to squeeze us onto the bus. Miraculously, he suddenly "found" two more seats. Leg 1: success.

We arrived in Taba at around 5:30 am (like a 7 hour bus ride, including an extended tea/shisha break somewhere around 2:30), where A1 and I promptly made friends with an elderly Italian nun also going across the border. She spoke only a little Arabic and a little Spanish, but when I spoke Spanish and she spoke Italian slowly -- with a few Spanish-isms thrown in -- we could mostly understand each other. She was awesome. Anyway, we got across the border without getting our passports stamped, which was a huuuge success -- basically, we were trying to avoid stamps from both Israel and Taba in our passports, so that was excellent. There are some countries that give you problems with Israeli stamps in your passport (or stamps from Taba, where the only place you would have gone would be Israel). Egypt and Jordan, which I would also like to visit, are fine, but I'd like to keep mine stamp-free for now just in case. So leg 2: success.

A1 and I split a cab with our new nun friend to the Eilat bus station, where we purchased tickets to Jerusalem about twenty minutes before the bus left (is that good timing or what?). I also helped the nun buy a ticket to Haifa by translating her Italian into Hebrew, and the clerk's Hebrew back into Spanish for her. Needless to say, I have not had such a language identity crisis since the days of back-to-back Spanish and Arabic during my sophomore year. But I feel like in this case I should get bonus points for getting to legitimately use my Hebrew, Spanish and Arabic all in the same day. And then we went to a convenience store, where they were playing this Idan Yaniv song that I love and I bought Bissli for breakfast. Welcome to Israel!

After an excellent weekend in Jerusalem (more on that later), the Most Bizarre Travel Day Ever commenced. We start by finding out that there is no return bus from Jerusalem to Eilat on Saturday evening (no buses during Shabbat in Israel, but we still needed to make it to work on Sunday morning), but we found out that were running from Tel Aviv. We decided to take a sherut, or shared taxi, from Jerusalem to Tel Aviv, hoping to arrive in time for a 5 pm bus that would arrive in Eilat at 9 pm, re-cross the border and make a 10:30ish bus from Taba back to Cairo.

Instead, the sherut ran late, so we ended up on a 6:30 pm bus. That would have made us miss our bus back to Cairo, but that bus, it turns out, did not exist (the last one had left at 4 pm), so it did not matter. Instead, after we crossed the border (still no stamps, yay!), we started haggling with drivers of various microbuses to take us back to Cairo.

A1 and I had decided ahead of time what we were willing to pay, which was extremely reasonable based on other microbuses we have taken. But when the drivers heard us speak in Arabic, they would ask where we're from, and then the price would jump when they hear we're American. We did our best to explain that we are working here for Egyptian companies and get paid in Egyptian pounds, but they still thought we were rich students (as they assume all Americans must be). It can be incredibly frustrating when you know everyone is just so willing to screw you based on an incorrect assumption about people who share your nationality.

Anyway, one eventually agreed to take us, but then became rather shifty. First he said he wanted to wait for more people, then he tried to get us to pay him more to leave immediately (we said no), finally kept driving in circles from the border to the bus station to get more cigarettes/a phone card/ chat with his friends. Eventually, around 1 am, he said he was going to sleep until the morning when more people arrived and we could feel free to sleep in the car. At that point we left the cab and made friends with Ibrahim the policeman, who told off the sketchy microbus driver and helped us make a deal with a much more awesome one. He was a bit more money, but he was willing to leave right away with just the two of us, and also spoke Hebrew (I may be progressing in Arabic, but I am still far more comfortable expressing myself in Hebrew).

After some unforeseen cab-switching in Suez (as in the canal) around 5:30 am, we arrived in Cairo at 7 am, which was plenty of time to sit in traffic. So, three taxis, a car, a bus and a microbus later, we finally found ourselves back in Zamalek at 8 am on Sunday. Slept for two hours and went to work like that champ that I am, where I have been steadily drinking coffee ever since.

Oh! And as for Israel -- the weather was beautiful, I had three iced Aromas (that's right, one a day), came back to Cairo with challah and ruggelach from Marzipan (though we did stress-eat a number of the ruggelach between midnight and 6 am on the ride through Sinai), and went to Friday services at Shira Hadasha (they re-did the building, by the way, and it looks lovely). We also did Western Wall and tunnel tour, Church of the Holy Sepulcher, Israel museum and Dead Sea scrolls, market in the Muslim quarter, Ben Yehudah Street, Emek Refaim, Mahane Yehudah, Tmol Shilshom (one of my favorite cafes in Jerusalem), visited the Jerusalem Central Bus Station (love that place!), stayed at Heritage House (free hostel!), and lots and lots of walking all around the city. Things I did not revisit: Beit Canada. I was glad to see Jess and Sara in Tel Aviv at the end of July, but I think Jerusalem will always be my favorite city in Israel.

Still, I think next time I might just fly.